* Let's Get To The Bottom Of This!!

I had a prayer answered yesterday. I shouldn't be surprised because I get them answered all the time...but most of the time they are not answered quite as quickly. I got a clean bill of health!

A lower and an upper endoscopy is NOT something I ever thought I'd be talking about publically (certainly not writing about it!) but it's so important that I felt I had to.

Before I make my plea, let me tell you some funny things that happened to me on the way to the testing room. First, I have had an acid reflux problem since the day I was born...nothing new there, but over the last 20 years I have suffered from it almost daily (mostly nightly). Even when I was "skinny" I had the problem, so it's not entirely related to my plumpness. The testing for that is simple, they put some kind of little camera down your esophagus and check it out. They do some biopsies and you are on your way. (You are out, so you don't feel a thing.)

The other end is a little more involved. You start the procedure by taking 3 tablespoons of Milk of Magnesia...I'd advise getting the flavored kind. I thought I'd save a little and get the unflavored...big mistake. That same day you must consume only liquids... all day...Popsicles, broth, Sprite, etc. There were Christmas parties everywhere that day and I had to politely bow out of those and that was a bummer...schedule this procedure sometime other than December. (I had to do it before my insurance deductible ran out.) Next you either take pills or drink ALOT of some kind of drink to, let's say, "flush out your lower GI tract." After that part of it, the rest is a piece of cake...boy, I could have sure used a piece of cake.

Now to the funny parts...hubby and I arrived at the center at the appointed time, 7:00 A.M. We were seated in a very big waiting room with lots of chairs. Everyone who was having the procedure arrived with a driver. (You will be woozie and won't be able to drive yourself home.) I played a little game. It was called "Which One Is Having the Colonoscopy?" When two people would arrive I'd try to guess which was the driver and which was the lucky colonoscopatic...(my word entirely.)

I could guess them almost every time. The colonoscopatic had a little lilt to their walk...and they yawned incessantly. They also entered the restroom about every 30 minutes. The women were stoic, but men colonoscopatics look dazed and confused. (Childbirth prepares you for so many things in life.) Some couples sit, leaning on each other and just doze before procedure. Why, you ask? Well, let me tell you a little trick of the trade, the directions say to start drinking the solution at 4 p.m. the day before. That's much too late for me...if I did that I'd be up until midnight or later during the "cleansing" process. Two or three p.m. o'clock was better for me to begin that process. All the dozers had been up all night and the partner had been made to listen to all the colorful language that had been said by the colonoscopatic as he or she entered and exited the bathroom.

When the nurse came to get the "lucky one" the driver was given a beeper that lights up and was told where to come to pick up the colonoscopatic when their name was called. That was fine, except everybody there was over 50 years old and the beeper technology confused them. I just got up and left...I couldn't bear to hear the nurse have to repeat the instructions to "you know who" that many times. Last thing I heard was him asking, "Now, where are the brown doors I am supposed to go through?" Oh, help me....

After that, I watched the film that tells you all the horror stories of what could happen during surgical procedures, chatted with the nurses and my nice doctor and it was lights out. While I was out, they examined the lower GI tract with a little camera called an endoscope and my upper GI also. (Not with the same scope..ha.) Next thing I knew I was back in my room trying to get my clothes on to leave. I slept the remainder of the morning, ate a bowl of Newk's Potato soup at noon and was told to enjoy it, because it cost $6.50.

The following morning (today) I am not 100%, but will go into work a little late and am feeling just fine (and very thankful) that everything is ok. BTW: I am hosting a cookie swap at 12:30.

P.S. Now my plea: My mother died of colon cancer. It was a dreadful way to die. PLEASE, schedule your colonoscopy today. If you are experiencing any problems, you need to get to a GI doctor pronto. If you are over 50, it is also a must. Look, IT MIGHT SAVE YOUR LIFE!