My Top Ten "Buggers"

The strangest things "bug" me. BTW: do you know where the expression "bug" comes from? When animals like sheep are being tended, one of the things the shepherd does is put oil in and around the animal's nose. That keeps bugs from buzzing around them and driving them crazy. Thus the expression "bug". Oh, the little pieces of trivia one picks up along the way.

I know these are little things, but for some reason when they are all put together, it makes for a less than perfect day. As I have gotten "longer in the tooth" my list of things that drive me nuts has grown. Some things have rotated off and new things have replaced them. Once I asked my husband what all I did to bug him. Now he's gotten smarter over the years, so he really pondered before he answered. "The only thing I can think of is that you leave your empty coathangers hanging on the doorknob." What?! Of all the nutty things I do, that's all he could think of? Well, he must be delusional. So I promptly went to QVC.com and ordered Joy Mangano velvet coathangers and they cost so much that I, to this day, take really good care of them and NEVER leave them forlornly dangling on the doorknob. Problem solved. I am perfection personified..lol.

My Top Ten "Buggers":

1. Emptying the dishwasher. There's something about that insipid green light that makes me mad. (For the first 14 years of marriage, I didn't even have a dishwasher, now I whine because I have to take the clean dishes out?!) Go figure.

2. Sales associates (we used to call them clerks) who act like they don't really NEED their job and are just working to pass the time of day and sort of look down their noses at you. I'm not sure if they noticed, but I am a paying customer. Advice to clerks everywhere: You are there, you are working, you are trying to make ends meet, can't you just forget your past life as a princess and be civil when I ask you a question?

3. Young people of both sexes and men who do not open doors for older men or women. Ok, I know this really "dates" me, but political correctness aside, it's just good manners. We have become a nation with savage manners. Where is "May I", Please, Thank you? It's time to be polite again, for pete sakes. (Ditto on the toilet seat, please lower it when you are finished!)

4. People who scavenge your desk looking for pens, post it notes...oops, there's a note, wonder what's it's about and then READ it! I have a narrow Body Bubble. When someone gets too close or begins inhabiting my space it really gets to me. I don't mind lending or giving things to people, but they don't have to act like my "area" is their personal Easter Egg Hunt.

5. Certain words. I once knew a young woman who would immediately terminate a relationship with a young man if he ever once uttered the word (are you ready for this one?) "TUNA". I have often wondered if the man she married actually passed the "tuna test". And I taught a young man who freaked out if anyone said any words which began with the letters "qu"...quick, quack, quit anything like that. It was difficult teaching him, I had to always be on my toes lest I spoke a dreaded "qu" word. Today my disliked words are mostly names of people. I won't tell you what they are, but if you notice when we engage in conversation that I never actually SAY your name and just always call you "pet" names, Honey, Sugar, Sweetie and the like, well, your name may be on the list. (I still like the person, it's just that darn name.) A few of my least uttered WORDS are: disgruntled (yuck); veggies (instead of vegetables); grunt and snout (because they are connected with pigs?); sardonic; tuna (in honor of my friend); and the worst, sheath ( now that one brings shivers down my spine.)

6. People who won't take a stand on an issue and then criticize others when they do. I like a little spine on my friends. Nuff said.

7. When my husband throws away the Sunday ads before I read them. Now if you want me riled up just throw away the Harbor Freight Tools ad before I see it. I LOVE Harbor Freight ads!

8. This one has changed dramatically over the years. I used to get my nose out of joint if my husband or sister said, "You are acting just like your Mother." All of a sudden, that has become a VERY BIG COMPLIMENT and I will accept it as such. Thank you very much.

9. When someone makes a mistake and refuses to admit it. What's with that? Haven't you heard the news? Well, let me enlighten you...NOBODY on this earth is perfect! Apologize or admit it and make it right. Good grief.

10. People who know nothing about a particular subject and who have great opinions about it. Look, walk in my Reeboks for at least 10 minutes before telling me how to decorate a Christmas tree, pick out a wall color, mediate family disputes or how to comb my hair.

I could add a few more like not advancing your car promptly in carpool line. The problem with this is that the last time that happened it was because I had fallen asleep and I was the one holding up the line. So that one has dropped off the list.

I know what you are thinking. "Is she for real?" Well, before you copy this post and drop it off at your therapist's office for his opinion, I'd like for you to write down the "buggers" in your life. Examine them closely and see if they aren't as petty as mine.

Lessons to be Learned:

1. Always open the door for me, approach me with a broad smile, don't roll your eyes behind my back, thank me when I do something nice, watch your language, stay out of my things, empty the dishwasher before I come home and keep your opinions to yourself if you don't know what you are talking about.

Thank you for letting me get those off my chest.