I am a little hesitant to post this blog today. Because my husband does the grocery shopping, I might sound a tad ungrateful. So it is with a slightly faint heart that I post (aka: rant) here.
Because he coaches both football and track, he is gone most of the time from August until November and then from February until May. So in order to "help" me, he grocery shops and does the laundry!! I hate grocery shopping. I would rather take a busload of 13 year old boys on a field trip to a deer processing plant than go to Wal Mart and grocery shop. So I am truly appreciative of his efforts, however, his method of grocery shopping drives me over the edge. I mean it.
First, anyone who knows him knows that he refuses to use a cell phone. Who in the universe does NOT use a cell phone? I mean "Really"! If I need him (and this drives all the other coaches around the bend too), I have to call one of them and then he has to call me back ON THEIR PHONE. If he uses a cell phone he still has to ask which button to push to end the conversation. Oh, please, green means GO and red means STOP. This is a man who risks life and limb every day teaching fifteen year olds how to drive on the interstate! If I stay on the phone long enough I can always hear him on the other end saying, "Now which button do I push to turn this thing off?" As usual, I digress. Every week I make out a list of specific items. Brand, size and in the order in which they appear in the store..every detail BECAUSE if I don't, what happens is unbelievable.
A while back, I dutifully made out the list. I was having a gathering at my house, and I needed whipping cream so that I could make whipped cream to top my dessert. How difficult is that request? A pint of whipping cream..."Oh, would you like to take my phone in case there is a problem with one of the items on the list?" I asked. "Oh, no, the list looks ok," he says confidently. "Are you CERTAIN you don't want my cell phone?" I implore. "NO! (& this is his favorite quote) I've lived 61 years without a cell phone and I can live 61 more without one!"
Oh, really? 122 years without a cell phone, I don't think so.
Grocery shopping done, car pulls into garage, I know what is coming. Unusually high number of bags are placed on the counter. Eggs, check. Cereal, check, bread, bananas, ok. Then it begins...quart of whole milk; quart of 2% milk; quart of skim milk; can of sweetened condensed milk; spray container of Redi Whip; 2 tubs of Cool Whip (with and without fat); carton of Half and Half...need I say more? I look at him, he says, "I wasn't sure which kind of whipped cream you wanted, so I just got some of everything." Grocery budget for the week: $85 Amount spent: $110. BUT we saved a trip back to the store.
PS: It took us the rest of the month for me to find enough recipes to use up all that milk. But, because I see the glass of milk half full rather than half empty, I found an upside to the excessive milk I consumed. I was having a bone density test a short while later, it really pushed my numbers in the right direction!
Lessons to be learned:
1. BEFORE you marry, make sure your fiance can use a cell phone properly.
2. The week of a party at your house throw out everything in the refrigerator so you will have plenty of room for the refreshments and all the "wrong" things purchased to save a trip back to the store.
3. Put your big girl drawers on and do the shopping yourself!!