This Post Is A Little Out of Character

I saw this quote today: "That awkward moment when you're not sure if you actually have free time or you're just forgetting everything."

Lately I find my family staring at me as though they don't understand what I have just said. Then I realize I said a lot of stuff to myself in my head, it just didn't all come out of my mouth. The family just shrugs and answers what they thought I meant.

Once when my granddaughter was in the second grade or so, she was playing in my guest bedroom. I kept hearing something tearing. I went in the room to check on her and she was writing page after page and laying them on the bed.

"What are you doing? Playing school?" I inquired.

"Oh, no. I am letting people out of detention," she replied.

Amused, I asked, " What have they done?"

"Oh, all sorts of stuff."

I became a little concerned and bent over to read their sins. Each paper had the name of the offender, their offense (example: talked out of turn), their reprieve and her signature, The Prity Quen of Inglin. Formally translated that would be The Pretty Queen of England. (This is the grandchild you read about in another post who once asked me (loudly and with great clarity) in the checkout of Big Lots, if I had remembered to wear my underwear that day. Another story for another day.

Now I am NOT a princess much less a queen, but it seems to me that if you've tried to lead a decent life you deserve a certain amount of respect. I have followed the old adage "A place for everything and everything in its place." I tried to make my parents and Home Economics teachers proud. So as I come to my twilight years, I've decided to cut loose a little. The queen thing brought to memory times when I didn't do what I really wanted to do but did what I thought was expected of me. Do I deserve a crown, certainly not...but at this stage of life I feel I can divulge certain activities in which I participated now that a number of years have passed.

Today I admit that once I swigged directly from the Pepto Bismol bottle. (It was an emergency, there were no clean spoons...another story.) But I have to further admit that I hid the bottle like an alcoholic hides his whiskey. I was afraid someone might get up in the middle of the night and double swig...that would be a catastrophe. As soon as school was over the next day I drove straight to the drug store and bought a new bottle for the family. I kept mine hidden and nipped at it when necessary. This began my downward spiral from Goody Two Shoes to what I have become.

Another case in point...I have been practicing getting into and out of the bathtub (no small task when you have a trick knee)...fully clothed except for my socks and shoes. As I was trying my exit the other night I realized that the bath mat had been kicked aside and I was barefooted. So? you ask. One of my cardinal rules has always been...No Bare Feet...anywhere except the tub. Well, I had no choice...so my bare feet actually touched the floor and NOTHING HAPPENED! I even used to prefer that if Coach had to exit the bed during the night, that he wash his feet before re-entering. He complied for over 3o years and then one night he snapped. He did it quietly. He acted like he didn't hear me. I didn't say anything. We really walked on the wild side with that.

This morning I was dressing and Facebooking at the same time when I was faced with a challenge of epic proportions. At the appointed time in my makeup ritual of 50 years, my mascara was gone. I looked in the cabinet...no Maybelline. Then my eyeliner and my blush. The "big three" were all missing from my arsenal.
I began to perspire. I retraced my houseshoed steps. How could three things just vanish? I had never gone outside to work without makeup and I was not beginning today. That's just TOO WILD! Then I remembered that I had to go to my grandchildren's school yesterday and I took a change of clothes and my makeup to work (wouldn't want to embarrass The Prity Quen of Inglin and her brother by being in work clothes.) I located all the items, did a reasonably good job of applying every item and hurried to work.

Now the reason for this post has totally escaped me. Normally, that would upset me greatly but for some reason it doesn't really bother me today...I have decided to loosen up. You should, too. And if you are already too loose, then tighten up. Whatever..
Angela