* The Soap Saga

Disclaimer: I must admit that I am the one in the family that has weak knees. I become a little disconcerted by things that don't bother others. For instance, I never embraced the practice of changing babies' diapers; I don't like heights or swimming; and I have several other peculiarities, among them, animals scare me. Now, don't get me wrong I am not mean. I love butterflies and even bunnies, but cats that scratch and dogs that jump up and occasionally snarl, pretty much do me in. I cannot watch a Geico commercial. I check the motel beds for bedbugs...I like my bed clean, the sheets neatly tucked in and nothing but me and the hubster in there.

 All that being said, let me continue with my post. Since my two knee surgeries this summer, I have had terrible leg and foot cramps. They wake me in the night, they hit while I am driving, they are a big nuisance. So my ears perked up when my daddy suggested the "soap" cure. This cure was introduced to him by his friend, Miss Marianne. Since she is full of good practical knowledge, I decided to try it. The "cure" consists of putting a bar of either Ivory or Dial in between your sheets. That's it (for some). Cramps should be a thing of the past...

Last night as I was lying in bed reading my new Romantic Homes magazine, I felt it coming....a cramp in my left foot. It was excruciating...that did it...when you can't even read a magazine in peace, something has to give. I grabbed my cane and limped to the bathroom and opened the cabinet door. I got out a wrapped bar of Dial. I started wondering how to do this. Do I unwrap the soap? Wouldn't it get rather tacky? I wasn't sure and since it was late, I just unwrapped a little square of the wrapper so some of the fumes could escape and started back toward the bed.

The hubster said, "What is that?"

 I replied, " It's a bar of soap."

 "Well, I can see that. What are you doing with it?" he retorted.

Now, I knew I was going to meet with resistance on his part. He doesn't believe in folksy cures. So I simply said, "It's supposed to help with leg cramps." That was that. He turned over and went to sleep. No big deal.

But with me, it was an entirely different story. Let me ask, have you ever slept with a brick? Every time I moved, that darn soap was either on my foot or between my ankles. It kept me awake for quite awhile.

 Finally, I drifted off to sleep, only to be awakened by a horrible dream. In the dream it was quite hot, and I kept stubbing my toes over and over again. I awoke with a start. It really WAS hot...the hubby was ready for the "supposed" coming ice storm. I am certain he had the thermostat set at 450 degrees and I was roasting. I leaped (ok, stumbled) out of bed to change from my fuzzy ice storm gown to something more comfortable and when I got back in the bed SOMETHING HIT MY FOOT!! SOMETHING WAS IN THE BED!! This time I really did leap out of the bed...screaming...there was a third thing in the bed ... what was it?!!! I nearly had a panic attack.
Until I was reminded... Oh, uh, the bar of soap. I had completely forgotten about it.

This morning when we began to make up the bed IT was gone. The soap was not there. Where did it go? I have NO idea. (Personally, I think the hubster removed it in the night, but then what do I know?) Maybe the bar rode off into the sunrise, "My work here is done."

But whatever it was, all I know is I didn't have a single leg cramp last night.



May all your nights be leg cramp free,