* The Smashed Finger Saga

WARNING: THIS POST IS NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED.

There I was just minding my own business. Arriving at school early to open the library, I hurried to the passenger side of the car to retrieve my brown toile bag. Just as I opened the passenger side car door, the door swung out and smashed the middle finger on my right hand between itself and the SUV's outside mirror. The SUV was parked waaayyy too close to my car...I looked around to make sure nobody heard what I said and then tears welled up in my eyes. Shazaam! That hurt!

I scurried into the school hoping to get a little sympathy from the hubster...ha. I looked down and to my dismay, the nail on the finger was already turning blue. By the end of a very long day my finger was very blue half way up the nail and half way down the first joint. Yikes, this was NOT good. One week later I shut this same maimed fingernail in a drawer at home. Oh, help me...this was too much.

I use my digits for lots of things...eating, applying makeup, pulling weeds, computer work, oh, excuse me, I forgot YOU use them, too. So you can understand my hurt. What I lack in hair, I make up for in fingernails...I once tightened a screw (for lack of a screwdriver) with my thumbnail...so my nails grow very fast and strong. I keep them cut short...no self respecting artist has super beautiful nails...too much paint, too much Mod Podge, too much everything finds their way under the nails...ewwww.

This incident occurred one month before school was out...it's been six long weeks now...my fingernail turned purple then black. You know how you can't take your eyes off a wreck? That's the way this affected me...I couldn't take my eyes off the wreck of a fingernail I had created. I began using band aids...I was scared the look would traumatize children checking out books in the library...it sure traumatized me! I couldn't find the right kind of band aid...they kept falling off...everyday I tried new ones. The CVS clerk gave me strange looks when I'd come back for more...I changed and went to Dollar General... this problem has still not resolved itself. I've used approximately 4-5 band aids a day for nearly 6 weeks...still can't keep one on for more than 2 hours at a time. I think I wash my hands too often.

About a week and a half ago I looked down and there was a hole in my nail...what? Then everyone began telling me horror stories of how the whole nail will fall off...Uncle Elmer's was never the same, etc...oh, lovely. (Maybe I could charge admission and make a little extra spending money.) Sure enough, my fast growing nail was pushing the old black one off...I do remember a man I once knew who had weird looking fingernails and I remember thinking he had creepy nails....that is exactly what mine looked like...of course, he was a tractor mechanic and had his mangled in a set of tractor gears. I can't use that as an excuse...

Long story short...two questions keep popping up in my mind...

1. How long will this process go on? Will I have one wavy fingernail with black dots under it forever?

2. Does this qualify for workman's comp?

This post was written for sympathy,