* I Have A Duck's Foot, So Do You

I don't know how many of you have ever had the "pleasure" of being instructed to go to physical therapy, but if you haven't, may I say that it's a lot like I would envision joining the Army...or maybe the Marines.

Upon arriving at the facility, there was much to see and the first appointment didn't go too badly. I was evaluated and given a few exercises to do at home. I took my sheet of "tortuousness" exercises and went merrily on my way.

The real "you know what" began as I arrived for the second session. We had a fire drill at school that day and I hadn't been cool since. So upon arriving, I asked to change into my exercise appropriate clothes...my Bon Worth matching capris and top. I thought I'd brought a little bottle of spray perfume because I felt I might be a little "musty" after the fire drill. I couldn't find the perfume...so I just pulled on the clothes and dashed to the appointment. If they can stand football players surely they can stand me.

They called my name loud enough for all of the state to hear and I ambled to the "room" purse in hand and dread in my heart. My PT was immediately cordial and assigned me to a machine. He told me to sit and then he lifted a lever and pushed me close enough to put my feet in the pedals. He said to pedal the machine...."For how long?" I inquired. "Ten minutes," he countered. I laughed, "No really, how long??"
"I'll be back," he said, "get to pedaling." I gathered by the tenor of his voice that he meant business. I haven't pedaled anything except my car in 15 years.

I saw the name of the machine...the Recumbent Cross Trainer. Uh, oh...I began pedaling. The speed said 49 steps per minute. That's not exactly a world class pace, but I was feeling pretty smug...then I spied a little old man. He was watching me struggle with the handle bars and the pedals and I sat a little straighter...I'm not going to let some old person laugh at my 49 steps per minute. I sped up...58...he smiled...finally somewhere between 9 1/2 minutes and 10, I hit 71. "Take that," I thought. Really!!!

The PT came to get me (that's Physical Therapist for all you healthy people) and I could hardly walk. My legs felt similar to jello on a hot day. I had to be helped out of the Recumbent Cross Trainer. How embarrassing. Now we went toward a leather benchlike bedlike thing. Pillows were at the end and they had just sprayed the leather with cleaner and wiped it down. But somebody missed a spot and I felt the spray stuff through my clothes as I sat down. "Lie back and put this ball between your knees." Oh, no...first, this is going to mess up my hair and second, I had to squeeze the ball and then lift my hips...I'm not particularly coordinated so this looked a lot like someone doing the "snake" only in reverse. "How many times?" I inquired...dreading the answer. "Thirty". He walked away. Now I have to admit that I fudged a little here...I stopped somewhere between 15 and 30. I believe it might have been 15. More assorted tortures were performed by a weak kneed older woman in the mirror...oh, no! That's me!

Then I was led to another section of the unit..."Oh, thank goodness!" I thought, "there are other women here and I can whine and complain with them"....HaHa. It was the "wall of shame" for me. Every woman there was between 17 and 20. They were all basketball players and were in tip top shape. They laid back on the bedthing, faced the wall and walked up the wall with their feet. I knew I was in trouble. "Hello," I offered to one, "what are you "in" for?" "Torn ACL"...she countered. "We all have basketball injuries." "What's wrong with you?" she asked. "Bad knees," I said with a very serious face. They had 6 and 7 inch scars where they had been surgically repaired. I had nothing to show except a sweaty brow and a limp. I felt pretty low.

Then the PT and his assistant came over to do an ultrasound treatment on my knee. I heard him tell the assistant, "Inflamed duck's foot". Now just a minute, just because I have on my Princess Reeboks doesn't mean you have to make fun of the way I walk. Beside that I really try not to limp noticeably. "Excuse me, did you mention my feet? I am here for therapy on my knee. Have I been doing the incorrect exercises?" I was pretty steamed with all that ball between the knees stuff and my hair standing straight up in the back and all. "No, the area that is causing you so much trouble is called the "duck's foot". It's inflamed," the nice man said. Well, that's better. I settled down.

After ultrasound and icing my leg. I was on my way. It wasn't too bad and beside that I only have 7 more sessions. I will fill you in on those as they occur. However, for some reason as I walked to the car, I had a strange desire to waddle and quack.

May your duck's foot never be inflamed,

Home Improvement: Tips for Sellers & Scattershooting

Whoohooo....I dodged a bullet today!! Thanks for your prayers...a cortisone shot, a brace, some fluid removal and I'm back in the saddle...sort of. However, instead of a riding crop, I'm using a cane. The MRI went well...they positioned the nicest person in the clinic in the MRI room! She had great MRI-side manner. Ok, that being said, I'm doing a quick little post because I can't sit up at the computer long...still a little painful...but I could NOT not do a post! (After the dr visit, we went shoe shopping...WARNING: after a stressful morning involving your knee...that is NOT and I repeat NOT a great idea. Had to take a two hr nap to regroup the troops.)

So I am doing a rather disconnected post...scattershooting, I'd say.

Saw the canvas below in World Market in Spanish Fort, Alabama and thought I'd try my hand at it...I'll post results later. LOVE the colors and the designs...it was big...mine probably wont be quite as large.

Couldn't imagine what was holding up the traffic at the railroad tracks at Whitfield...whoa...it was just an ENTIRE house being moved down the road. My father did that once...years ago he moved two houses from Coffeeville, MS across the Grenada Lake levee..that gives people an eyefull! (And YES, there is a Mississippi town called Coffeeville and one named Hot Coffee, too.)

I am trying to do some research on these little dolls found at an estate sale. Especially the one on the far right. Aren't they cute?

From the left moving right: Celluloid, two bisques, and the last one is similar to a Patsy doll which may be composite. Anyone have any ideas?

Ran into this little book in the sale bin at Michael's..it's got lots of tips on how to make your house sellable. I agree with most, there are a few I'd be wary of.

Thought I'd share a few with you.

1. Did you know if you will find a bar of soap similar to the color of your walls and rub the slightly damp bar over holes in the walls they will disappear? It's true I do it all the time...sometimes I wonder if there's anything holding up my house sheetrock except soap, I've hammered so many times!
2. Flat paint hides imperfections on walls better than satin. (But it isn't as easy to clean.)

3. When using a color scheme in a room or on the outside of your home, use these proportions: 60% main color (sides of room or house); 30% second color (trim); and 10% accent (door or accessories like pillows.)

4. If repainting the outside of your home, choose a paint color one shade darker than you like...the bright sunlight makes the outside color appear lighter.

5. Dark shades of color make a room seem more serious and possibly elegant and paler shades exude congeniality...or so says this author.

6. Spend a little time attending open houses in your area...to assess the competition.

7. An attractive doorknob on the front door makes a good first impression.

8. Use trial size jars of paint rather than buying quarts or gallons! (Rather obvious.)

9. If you have a septic tank, don't opt for a garbage disposer...it may overtax the system.

10. Use a pumice stone to remove hard water or rust stains from the toilet.

There is a lot more to this little book than first meets the eye...I think the $3.99 I spent was WELL spent. I just wanted to give you a taste of the 11 chapters and 256 pages it holds.

Hope this scattershooting hits the bullseye,

* Let's Get To The Bottom Of This!!

I had a prayer answered yesterday. I shouldn't be surprised because I get them answered all the time...but most of the time they are not answered quite as quickly. I got a clean bill of health!

A lower and an upper endoscopy is NOT something I ever thought I'd be talking about publically (certainly not writing about it!) but it's so important that I felt I had to.

Before I make my plea, let me tell you some funny things that happened to me on the way to the testing room. First, I have had an acid reflux problem since the day I was born...nothing new there, but over the last 20 years I have suffered from it almost daily (mostly nightly). Even when I was "skinny" I had the problem, so it's not entirely related to my plumpness. The testing for that is simple, they put some kind of little camera down your esophagus and check it out. They do some biopsies and you are on your way. (You are out, so you don't feel a thing.)

The other end is a little more involved. You start the procedure by taking 3 tablespoons of Milk of Magnesia...I'd advise getting the flavored kind. I thought I'd save a little and get the unflavored...big mistake. That same day you must consume only liquids... all day...Popsicles, broth, Sprite, etc. There were Christmas parties everywhere that day and I had to politely bow out of those and that was a bummer...schedule this procedure sometime other than December. (I had to do it before my insurance deductible ran out.) Next you either take pills or drink ALOT of some kind of drink to, let's say, "flush out your lower GI tract." After that part of it, the rest is a piece of cake...boy, I could have sure used a piece of cake.

Now to the funny parts...hubby and I arrived at the center at the appointed time, 7:00 A.M. We were seated in a very big waiting room with lots of chairs. Everyone who was having the procedure arrived with a driver. (You will be woozie and won't be able to drive yourself home.) I played a little game. It was called "Which One Is Having the Colonoscopy?" When two people would arrive I'd try to guess which was the driver and which was the lucky colonoscopatic...(my word entirely.)

I could guess them almost every time. The colonoscopatic had a little lilt to their walk...and they yawned incessantly. They also entered the restroom about every 30 minutes. The women were stoic, but men colonoscopatics look dazed and confused. (Childbirth prepares you for so many things in life.) Some couples sit, leaning on each other and just doze before procedure. Why, you ask? Well, let me tell you a little trick of the trade, the directions say to start drinking the solution at 4 p.m. the day before. That's much too late for me...if I did that I'd be up until midnight or later during the "cleansing" process. Two or three p.m. o'clock was better for me to begin that process. All the dozers had been up all night and the partner had been made to listen to all the colorful language that had been said by the colonoscopatic as he or she entered and exited the bathroom.

When the nurse came to get the "lucky one" the driver was given a beeper that lights up and was told where to come to pick up the colonoscopatic when their name was called. That was fine, except everybody there was over 50 years old and the beeper technology confused them. I just got up and left...I couldn't bear to hear the nurse have to repeat the instructions to "you know who" that many times. Last thing I heard was him asking, "Now, where are the brown doors I am supposed to go through?" Oh, help me....

After that, I watched the film that tells you all the horror stories of what could happen during surgical procedures, chatted with the nurses and my nice doctor and it was lights out. While I was out, they examined the lower GI tract with a little camera called an endoscope and my upper GI also. (Not with the same scope..ha.) Next thing I knew I was back in my room trying to get my clothes on to leave. I slept the remainder of the morning, ate a bowl of Newk's Potato soup at noon and was told to enjoy it, because it cost $6.50.

The following morning (today) I am not 100%, but will go into work a little late and am feeling just fine (and very thankful) that everything is ok. BTW: I am hosting a cookie swap at 12:30.

P.S. Now my plea: My mother died of colon cancer. It was a dreadful way to die. PLEASE, schedule your colonoscopy today. If you are experiencing any problems, you need to get to a GI doctor pronto. If you are over 50, it is also a must. Look, IT MIGHT SAVE YOUR LIFE!

I Finally Had To Do It

Broke down and went to the doctor today...twice. Once to do labwork and once to actually see him about this horrible cold. I had fasted all night for the labwork and knew he'd really be proud of my scale numbers...he DID NOT EVEN MENTION THEM! However, at the second appointment he did ask me point blank, "What about your exercise program? Have you walked 5 times a week for 30 minutes?" Oh, boy, where can a girl hide when asked the dreaded exercise question?

"Why, no, I haven't," I replied. At least I was honest and admitted it. He laughed in spite of himself and said, "When you get over this cold, you need to get back on track." I wasn't sure to whom he was referring, I looked around the room. Nope, nobody there but me. Back on track? I've been trainwrecked on the tracks of exercise my whole life. BACK on track? Maybe he has me confused with another 60+ grandmother athlete. After watching this season of The Biggest Loser, if I had to "qualify" to be on that show by running a mile the first day at my age, there wouldn't be a Holly Jolly Christmas for me.

What is it with people who exercise anyway? They are sooooo condescending to those of us who do not care to perspire. (BTW: Please, watch the last episode of The Biggest Loser next Tuesday night on NBC. A former student of mine, Patrick, is one of the top three finalists. I am really convinced he's going to win! Don't forget to watch!! He is a great young man and has really taken off the pounds.)

Now, I am axiously awaiting my lipid profile numbers and am hoping for a little downward dip in them so I can at least enjoy some food at Christmas without feeling too guilty. FYI: The only reason the lipid numbers were up in July was because it was the week after my birthday and I had partaken of a tad too much birthday cake with all that icing. (See picture above, BD cake has been a lifelong obsession.) BTW II: I have lost 10 pounds. May I hear a little applause?